The Micro Rollers

Starting this Saturday with $20.00 on Sportsbook account. I will have 365 days to surpass $1,000.00.

This time I am taking schooling to another level.

See you at the tables.

Dr.W

…coming this spring….

So it’s been quite a long while since I’ve posted . . well, anything here.  In an attempt to make AL come back and remember this site as well — I decided to live-ish blog a SNG on PokerStars!  Let’s join the $1.20 single table RIGHT NOW:

Hand #1:  We start with K2s on the button.  A thrilling hand, to say the least.  One limper, I limp as well, and the blinds call around to see the pot.  A pot which helps me with nothing, so I start my folding workout.  Hey, I remember where the fold button is!

Hand #5:  My folding workout is in full swing.  See, I’m back on PokerStars because I went busto again on Sportsbook AND Full Tilt.  Full Tilt I blew the majority of my money on SNGs out of my bankroll range, and that damned Rush Poker finished off what was left of my bankroll.

Hand #6:  (KJo – limped then folded to a bet after the flop missed me).  Sportsbook was quite simply playing $5 SNGs on a $30 bankroll.  I played on SB strictly for the company of my two companions on this site.   And sometimes I’d win, more often I’d bubble.  This time around on my $30 buyin I did a better job of holding my own at the $5 tables.  With a bit more concentration, a bit more disclipline, and a bigger bankroll to ride out that horrible bitch named Variance . . who knows?

Hand #8:  76h in the BB.  T7T flop (one heart) and I bet the pot of 90 with one caller.  Turn is no help and I bet 90 again with a call.  River is no help again, I check and it’s checked behind me.  Other guy turns over 88 and I’m glad I’m not out more.

Hand #9:  My J9o in the SB flops a straight (8TQ).  I slow-play it — and actualy get a bite!  The man bets the pot, and I CHECK-RAISE~! to 200.  Everyone else folds, but this guy calls.  The turn is a 7 which is fine with me since I’ve still got the top straight.  I check again, and the guy bets 200.  I instashove all in — which he calls . . . with QJ.  I miss $1 SNG sometimes.  The river helps no one and I find myself the captain.

Hand #10:  I get AQs, but by the time the action gets to me someone’s shoved allin, and is called by the short stack Mr. Queen.  I fold, and find the man who shoved had TT.  I am not upset by this fold, even after three spades show up by the turn.

Hand #11:  ATc and I’ve become quite the damn card rack.  The flop is TT8 — and I’m remembering why I like Pokerstars so damn much.    Some brave soul bets after my check, and I re-raise.  He thinks about it, then folds.  This puts me at a little over 3000 chips with 8 left to play.

Hand #18:  I get QJo on the button and call at 15/30 blinds.  The BB bumps it to 120, and I call.  Flop is QT8 and the BB gets 210.  I raise him to 600.  He tanks for a while, then raises allin.  This guy tried pulling a hotshot move in the first couple of hands, and I feel like I’m running good, so I call  He turns over . . KK.  My hunch is confirmed when I river a Jack.  RIVERSTARS LIVES!!!  Except this time it’s on my side.

Hand #24:  I find myself with AA in the small blind.  The guy who folded to my ATc with trips raises to 200.  How did I get this lucky?  I wait a few seconds, then re-raise to 600.  He shoves allin, and I instacall.  He shows AKo, and I knock out someone else.  T5600 with 25/50 blinds and 6 left.

Hand #35ish:  We’re down to 5 and I get KTo.  The flop comes T9T and allows me to make a bet on the flop and turn to take down the pot for 900.  Still feeling fine.

Hand #41:  I get ATo and raise it 3xBB to 300.  I get a caller and a flop of K87.  This is a fancy way of saying the flop was jack shit.  The man bets 350 and I fold to this bet.  I do not like this man.  At all.  He thinks he is the captain, when I am clearly the captain.  I will meet him halfway and give him the title of First Mate.  The next hand we lose someone else and get down to four.

Hand #49:  First Mate min-raises pre-flop and I fold my Q3o.  He gets two callers and a flop of KQ4 with two diamonds.  He bets 600 and gets re-raised to 1200.  He calls this.  Flop is junk.  He checks, the other guy bets 300 which he calls.  The river is a 3rd diamond.  The other guy bets 300 which the first mate calls.  This other guy shows his KJc (he called that with King Jack?) while the First Mate shows his 32d and pulls a monsterpotten.  Three Two Diamonds.  This man is running better than I am.  This is a good time to add that First Mate was down to 90 chips earlier, and hit 4 consective allins to get back up to T1500.  I make a mental note to steer clear until we gets heads up.

Hand #52:  I knock out the poor guy First Mate crippled to get us into the money.  Hey, I cashed!

Hand #58:  I relinquish my title of Captain to the First Mate as he pulls a 1500 chip pot from me when my 77 hits nothing but 3 overcards.

Hand #60:  New Captain knocks out the other guy to go up to T8300 and get us heads up. I have a paltry T5185 at this point.

This is the point where I can only assume that Jersey Joe sneezed while railbirding me, and I somehow managed to contract his card AIDS from it, even though I’m about 1200 miles away.  The next huge number of hands find me dwindled down to T3000, but I battle up to T4500 again through a few good bets.  Let’s pick the action back up with:

Hand #98:  I get 66 in the big blind.  I’m at T5160 in chips at this point, blinds are 100/200.  He raises to 400, and I insta-raise to 1200.  He waits a bit, then shoves allin.  One of his earlier favorite tricks was shoving allin to an opening bet on the flop, and he would call this with a wide range of hands, usually chasing things.  I was waiting for him to try this with me in an opportunity where I’d have something worth calling with.  That, and I was starting to get REALLY bored.  I call, and he turns over . . . KQs.  Sure, I can run this.  The flop comes down AK2.  Ouch.  Hey, this is riverstars, I’ll come through!  The turn is a Queen.  Perfect card to see a 6 on the river!  And the river!

Another Queen.  Oh well — c’est la vie.

So I came out in 2nd at the level I’m supposed to be playing at.  Only a $1.50 profit, but when that brings your bankroll up to $23.07, that’s quite a good score!

My problem with poker in general right now is that I’d love to hit a big score.  But the odds of that happening will never happen playing SNGs — you only hit it rich quick in the MTTs.  Otherwise you’re going to have to grind it out.  And in order to grind, you’ve got to play the bankroll you have.  Which means I either need to start with a $150 bankroll or play the $1 SNGs.  Not glamorous, but it’ll teach me the discipline I need.  And hey, there’s always .01/.02 cash games to donk away at!

Anyway, enjoy the post, and here’s hoping I don’t wait a year to make another one.

Dearest Albert,

It has been long since last we stood side-by-side on the field of battle, but recently I have heard increased chatter around the campfire that you may soon be returning.  I know all too well the folly of putting too much stock in such gossip, and yet the rumors did hearten me as I last stepped into the fight.  I will only pray that the tales I have heard are true as I recount for you my most recent battle.

It had been several days since I last clashed with the donkey armies when I stepped into the fray yesterday.  I remained patient at the outset and not until hand the twenty-fourth did I see significant action.  Only the two of us who had entered the battle blind came to see the flop, I holding but a queen and a four.  The flop of jack, seven and four seemed hospitable to me and so when my opponent put forth a bet of half the pot, I did not flee.  When a second four emerged on the turn, I was certain that this encounter wound end in my favor and yet my opponent continued to risk his chips.  When a lowly deuce appeared on the banks of the river he put the last of what he had to risk into the middle and I happily matched it and sent him away, cursing his jack and deuce.

Hand the thirty-sixth was another battle of those who were blind and I held an even more meager hand of nine and seven.  The ensuing flop of nine, eight and seven was intriguing but worrisome.  My opponent was not immediately aggressive and so I took the lead, risking all that was in the pot.  He responded with quick counter-attack of twice what I had put forth, but I was undettered.  A queen on the turn did little to frighten me, so when he put forth a significant bet, I called it swiftly.  A river of five increased the danger so when he chose not to risk anything further, I did the same.  It was then that he revealed a six and five.  He had me outflanked from the start and I suffered a loss of nearly one-third of my reserves.

I maintained a reasonable position as the battle continued and upon the coming of hand the seventy-ninth I was able to improve my position once again.  Only five of us remained in search of victory and so I felt an ace and ten, studded in diamonds, were fine weapons with which to enter the fray.  One opponent risked the smallest possible raise and I merely called it.  The flop was quite fortuitous, matching both my ace and my ten.  It was then when this opponent made his last error, placing all of his chips at risk.  I quickly took up the challenge and watched with glee as he and his matching kings went down to defeat.

Again on hand the ninety-fifth did a combatant risk all that he had with a less than formidable armament.  In response to a standard gambit on my part, this player risked his last with just an ace and a nine.  I, as always, had come prepared, this time bearing the mighty combination of ace and king.  Nothing that followed diminished my advantage and when the dust settled but three of us remained.

I was once again blessed the power of ace and king on hand the one hundred and eleventh as only one opponent remained before me.  He was not put off by my early aggression and the two of us soon looked upon a king, nine and eight.  He attemped to be coy and feign weakness, only to respond with increased aggression when I put forth my initial challenge.  But I saw through his deception and feared not to risk all that I had.  He soon retreated to lick his wounds.

After this point he would often risk all that he had before even the flop had been revealed but I was patient and waited to find a powerful hand with which to meet his challenge.  On hand the one hundred and thirty-ninth, he again tried this stratagem, but this time I was well prepared, bearing two queens.  He had but matching threes and the Almightly failed to intervene on his behalf.  I was victorious!

Al, if you return soon you will find me confident and strong in my position.  I have battled well against these mindless adversaries and increased my reserves by a significant margin.  I only pray that time away from the battle has not left your reflexes slow and your mind less than sharp.  Though these enemies fight in ways that seem unbelieveable to us, they often have lady luck on their side.  If you are not at your best, they may stumble into an advantageous position.  I wish you good luck and Godspeed.

Sincerely,

Jersey Joe

Dearest Albert,

Since last I wrote you I have engaged in three further skirmishes with the armies of donkishness. It is difficult to go on without you by my side, but I must persevere in your absence if the side of justice and reason is to emerge victorious. I hope that wherever you are, you are able to find joy in reading my accounts of battle.

The first battle was lengthy and hard fought. I was cautious, as you have sometimes counseled me to be, but on hand the thirty-first, I found a welcome opportunity to increase my stack. I took tentative steps into the action with an ace and ten of differing suits and four others joined me. The flop was seemingly quite fortuitous, containing an ace, a jack and an eight. One player represented as though this flop had served him well, betting the entirety of the pot, but I felt secure in my position and matched him. He continued his aggression once the turn had been revealed, but as this was a ten, I responded with newfound verve and soon all of our chips were in the center. He showed his foolishness by turning over an ace and a eight, a hand that a player such as you or I would easily discard before the battle got out of hand. But the donkish classes are easily enchanted by the single ace regardless of its partner. My strong hand won the day and I found myself in as powerful a position as any remaining combatant.

I was able to leverage this advantage with solid strategy to survive the battle until only three remained. At this point my opponents became very reluctant to engage with me and so the pace of battle was quite slow indeed. A climactic encounter finally occurred when I found myself holding your beloved nines, black as the night. The enemy, barely alive, had charged into the fray with just a king and a four and seemed destined to be felled by hand. But fortune shined up on him on this day as a king arrived in short order to match his and save his hide. This left me in a desperate state and soon I was risking all that I had to try to survive the day. The same enemy soon charged into battle and I was happy to meet him holding paired deuces. Once again he held but a king and a four, but Lady Luck took a shine to him once again and I was finished.

The next time I entered the fray I was joined by Doctor Hogie. He unfortunately fell early on, but I would soon join him, hurting on the sideline. On hand the thirtieth, I made my only stride toward victory. Positioned in the big blind, I called the smallest of raises with but an ace and a two. Three of us in total looked upon the flop and saw that it contained an ace, seven and four. Emboldended by this, I put forth a bet equal in size to the pot and one player felt confident in joining me. The appearance of a five on the turn did nothing to deter me and he once again called my healthy bet. A river three secured my victory, but what the enemy did then demostrated exactly that for which we fight. With only six hundred chips left in his arsenal, he put them all at risk in a position that I could not help but call. He did this with merely a jack and eight of clubs. This sort of play is incomprehensible to you and me, but to the donkey, it makes perfect sense. We cannot hope to understand his twisted logic, therefore we must remain vigilant, lest his system of belief overwhelm what we know to be good and right.

Sadly, this was the only encounter that would go my way. Soon I would find all that I had at risk with just an ace and queen to defend me. The enemy accepted the challenge with matching threes and I was unable to best him, falling just short of any cash reward.

In the most recent battle, I was able to improve my position early. With matching jacks befitting my nickname I came up against a player using the common donkey technique of the minimum raise. I respsonded strongly but he was undeterred. The two of us came to see a flop of ten, five and four and he responded by risking his entire reserve of chips. He acted as though his position were strong, but I was able to sniff out this deception and make the call. He showed just two eights and was soon dispatched.

On hand the sixty-ninth I was able to solidify my advantage, using an ace and queen to dispatch an enemy who had come to battle bearing only and ace and three. This success aided me in surving until the final three and in hand the one hundred and fifty-first I would thin our ranks further. Once again the enemy attempted to do battle with just an ace and a three and this time I was even more strongly armed, bearing two matching queens. He was unable to overcome this disadvantage and soon I was face to face with a single opponent.

This encounter would not last long as but two hands later, I would find two kings and he an ace and a queen and so the final battle was joined. The flop of queen, seven, two did not frighten me and a turn of ten brought me ever so close to victory. But the river came like a dagger to my heart, bringing an ace that would end my day and give the enemy another victory.

While I was able to gain some small profit from this weekend’s events, I cannot be satisfied, not having emerged victorious. Soon I will return to the field of battle, once again hoping to vanquish the ill-considered thought that characterizes the donkey. Perhaps you will be by my side when this happens. I can only continue to pray that this will be the case.

Yours truly,

Jersey Joe

Dearest Albert,

I hope this letter finds you well. I write to inform you of the latest events on the field of battle. While I continue to pray for your safe return, I have had little choice but to continue the war against the donkey armies in your absence. This past evening I, flanked by Hogie, the Doctor, joined the fray and we found ourselves faced with eight hostiles, including two I had previously battled.

While the good Doctor very quickly amassed a significant quantity of chips at the expense of the wicked and God forsaken opposition, it took me a bit longer to gain my bearings. My first significant strike came on hand the twelfth, with blinds of fifteen and thirty, as I found myself armed with an ace and a queen of differing suits. I raised the pot to one hundred and twenty and only one opponent chose to take up my challenge. The flop of 652 was of little use, but the fact that two of cards bore the mark of the spade would soon provide an opportunity. I made a deceptive bet of one hundred and fifty, but the enemy was not fooled as he swiftly called it. However, when the seven of spades appeared on the turn, I sensed a chance to turn things to my favor. I put a bet of merely two hundred chips, attempting to convince him that I had completed a flush and wished him to call this meager offering. My trickery convinced him to lay his hand down and I collected a modest pot.

The enemies continued to respect the power I wielded for a time, as any bet I put out would be met with prompt folding of their cards. While this did present me with a certain advantage, it stifled my ability to significantly grow my reserve of chips. It was not until hand the forty-ninth that I encountered an opportunity to do just that. Al, I had you in my heart as I strode into battle armed with the blackest of nines. The blinds had now reached the level of twenty-five and fifty and I called a raise to one hundred fifty, as did one other fellow. The flop again brought the promise of opportunity, this time in the form of a ten, an eight and a six. I chose remain cautious with two enemies in my sights, so I merely checked, as did they. However the turn was quite fortuitous, bringing the same seven of spades that had served me so well earlier. The first player to act impulsively risked chips equal to half the pot and while the second player took his chance to head for the hills, I responded with a raise of more than double. The first player called this raise and I was pleased but curious as to his strategy. When a third spade appeared on the river I decided that discretion was the better part of valor and let his check stand. This was when the bizarre practices of the donkey army became apparent. He showed the king and queen of diamonds, cards of no relevance to the board before us. I eyed him quizzically as I gathered the chips that once belonged to him.

Unfortunately, this donkey would soon get the better of me. With the blinds having reached fifty and one hundred, I made a raise to three hundred chips with an ace and a queen. The donkey merely called and the two of us found ourselves looking upon a flop of ace, seven and five. I found this quite a fortunate turn of events and bet two-thirds of the pot. The donkey responded with a rash risking of his entire stack. I considered my options momentarily, fearing the power of ace king, or perhaps a hand such as an ace and seven that is so dearly revered in the donkish culture. But in the end, I considered this enemy foolish enough to make such a move with any ace at all and therefore called his bet. Sadly my worst fear was realized as this donkey had stumbled upon the greatest hand that God gave man. As he brandished his ace and king at me, I was powerless to prevent the doubling of his stack.

From this point forward I was in a desperate situation, having so few chips as to reduce my strategic options to but one. Soon only four competitors remained, giving me a slim chance of surviving to earn the spoils of victory. However, every time I put my chips at risk, all would avoid the conflict, thwarting my attempts to build a formidable stack. Twice I found myself holding powerful rockets but I could convince no one to join the battle.

By hand the seventy-fourth, I had collected enough chips to match those of the third largest stack, but my situation remained precarious. On hand the seventy-ninth, I finally found a willing opponent, surprisingly in the person of the good Doctor. But we were both relieved to find ourselves at a stalemate, each holding an ace and a king.

As the hands totalled ninety, my stack had grown slightly larger than that of one opponent and so when I put my life on the line with an ace and queen, I was pleased to see him accept the challenge. Sadly, the rockets with which I had been unable to succeed previously had fallen into his grasp. My hand was no match for his and my reserve of chips was soon very meager indeed. I managed to remain alive when fortune shined upon me as I held such paltry hands as jack eight and king six, but I remained in significant danger.

So I was quite pleased to find a pair of jacks staring back at me when the player who had previously crippled me placed all of his chips at risk once again. I had enough to call this bet and then some and I was even more pleased to find that he merely held an ace and a three. But like a bolt of lightning to my heart not one but two aces appeared on the flop and I was once again in dire straits.

I mounted my last offensive on hand the one hundred and second, holding merely an ace and a seven. The player who had earlier employed such baffling tactics with king queen chose to enter this last skirmish with just a nine and five. The flop brought good news with a ten, two and four. An ace on the turn seemed to spare me for a time. But a cruel three on the river brought him a straight and I was defeated, left to console myself with what agave-based liquor I could find.

Al, I must end this letter now as the hour grows late. I hope to hear tell of your exploits soon. Perhaps someday I will stand beside you on the field of battle once again.

Very sincerely,

Jersey Joe

Dear Internet,

Since I last wrote you, my fortunes have taken a long-awaited turn for the better. Thanks in part to consultation with semi-retired Micro Roller Action Al, I have made some adjustments to my play. Rather than trying to force the action with excessive bluffery, I have taken to letting the action come to me. I’m playing more patiently, waiting for big hands and/or donkish play by my opponent to reveal themselves. One or the other almost always shows up before I run out of chips.

Last night’s SNG, played with the returning Dr. Hogie, was probably my finest moment. While I had collected some recent wins with the help of a lot of luck, last night my cards were only mediocre and I managed to succeed due to well-timed aggression at a fairly passive table. I did not take the chip lead until the very end, but I was able to take plenty of small pots to keep myself alive until I was able to get involved in some big pots with suitably big hands. (Hogie, if you are reading this, I was raising with aces every time.) In the end, I won my third SNG in six tries, with another cash mixed in, and put my bankroll over $250 for the first time.

While I’ve certainly had some luck along the way, I also believe that the slight adjustments to my style have given me the opportunity for more sustained success. Even when lady luck does not shine upon me, I am able to remain patient, allow the flush-chasing masses to eliminate each other and find myself still standing when the bubble bursts. The last few weeks and months running in place have tried my resolve, but now I see that I cannot be stopped and my bankroll will continue to rise until it reaches the heavens, or at least the internet money equivalent thereof.

Sincerely,

Jersey Joe

P.S. This hand happened a few days ago, but I thought it was pretty awesome and you might want to see it. Okay bye.

Hand#20416695D0000033 – $5 NL Hold’em T6723024 — Table 1 — $0/$50/$100 NL Hold’em — 2009/11/05 – 20:26:03
Seat 3: Mynd***3 ($1,549 in chips)
Seat 4: push***4 ($1,590 in chips)
Seat 6: pdxr***6 ($985 in chips)
Seat 7: kick***7 ($1,200 in chips)
Seat 9: trai***9 ($6,086 in chips)
Seat 10: Jersey Joe B ($3,590 in chips)
trai***9: posts small blind 50
Jersey Joe B: posts big blind 100
Dealt to Jersey Joe B [4h,Kd]
Mynd***3: folds
push***4: folds
pdxr***6: folds
kick***7: folds
trai***9: calls 50
Jersey Joe B: checks
*** FLOP *** [6h,4c,Tc]
trai***9: bets 100
Jersey Joe B: calls 100
*** TURN *** [5d]
trai***9: bets 100
Jersey Joe B: calls 100
*** RIVER *** [7s]
trai***9: bets 600
Jersey Joe B: calls 600
***SHOW DOWN***
trai***9: shows [2s Qc] (High Card, Queen )
Jersey Joe B: shows [4h Kd] (Pair of Fours )

I may be the only one around here playing poker right now, but I played a SNG tonight so remarkable that I just had to sweep the tumbleweeds out of this place and post about it. My bankroll is around $200 and has been holding steady around that level for a frustratingly long time. It seems every time I get up to about $210, I suddenly lose three or four SNGs in a row through a combination of card death and dumb calls. But tonight, this card death reached a new level. And yet, I somehow managed to cash. So I now present to you a list of every hand I was dealt. With end notes.

3s,9c
Kc,7d
Qh,3h
4c,Qs
8s,4h
Js,4d
8c,7d
6h,2d
4c,As
2c,Js
9s,Qc
4h,9c
7d,6s
4d,7h
Td,6h
8c,9h
7c,Tc
Ts,Js 1
3s,Qh
Qc,8s
8h,2d
5c,Kh
Qs,5c
2h,Js
6s,Ad 2
Ts,7c
2c,8c
8c,3d 3
6s,Qs
4h,Qh
Jd,6h
8d,2c
7d,5h
5h,Tc
4s,Kh
2h,Qc
4d,8d
4s,Qs
4c,Td
8c,4h 4
3c,Jh
9h,Ts
7h,7c 5
5d,4s
7c,Ts
Jc,8h
5c,8s
4s,3c
Js,2d
Kd,7h
Td,Qh
3c,2h
5h,6d
6d,6s 6
5d,9d
8c,7d
9c,3d
7d,2d
8d,7h
Kd,7c 7
8d,2s
Js,Qh 8
8d,2h
2d,4s
2s,9c
Qh,9s
4s,6h
Td,8c
5c,Ad 9
Qd,9h
Ad,3h 10
Kc,2h
2d,8c
2c,Th
2c,9c
5h,Tc
8s,Jd
Kc,3h
Jh,Tc
5c,8s 11
8d,3h
6c,9d
Td,8h
Js,4c
7d,Qh
6c,5c
3d,8h
2c,Jd
8d,Th 12
Td,3s
7d,Ks 13
Qs Jd 14
3h,Ts
4c,Tc
6h,Jh
8c,6d
Qh,5c
5c,2d
Jc Ad 15
Qd,4d 16
2h,9s 17

1 Hand 18 (15/30): I call a min-raise in the big blind and wind up losing 400 chips after a jack-high flop.

2 Hand 25 (25/50): This is the second best ace I will see all night.

3 Hand 28: In the big blind I wind up winning the pot on a T6369 board.

4 Hand 40 (50/100): I raise and win the pot uncontested.

5 Hand 43: With my first and best pocket pair of the night, i limp and see two players go all in behind me with AT and KT. I fold and they flop a ten.

6 Hand 54 (75/150): I put in my last 955 chips UTG and win uncontested.

7 Hand 60 (100/200): I push for 906 and get called by AQ. This is the first time I’ve seen a flop in a non-blind hand. And a fine flop it is, containing a couple of sevens to keep me alive.

8 Hand 62: I get a walk in the big blind.

9 Hand 69: I limp in small blind and the big blind pushes all in. I fold.

10 Hand 71: I raise to 600 and take it down.

11 Hand 80 (100/200/25): Another walk.

12 Hand 89: The second and third place players get all their chips in after a T99 flop. T9 beats K9 and I’m no longer the short stack.

13 Hand 91: I knock out the short stack when I river top pair and my miraculous journey to Cashville is complete.

14 Hand 92: All in against AQ the flop is KT7 and I turn a 9 for the straight and double up.

15 Hand 99 (200/400/25): I get all in against chip leader’s AT and I am, amazingly, the new captain by a tiny margin.

16 Hand 100: I give it all back on an AATTT board when it turns out he has A3. I did have a flush draw on the turn which only got me into further trouble.

17 Hand 101: Down to 6 chips I actually flop 997 and get my hopes up about a triple up, but both players river a ten-high straight to send me packing.

Tournaments have been down on Sportsbook for a few days so I’ve had to spend some time playing…*shudder*…cash games.  After a bit of a rocky start I’ve done pretty well the last couple of days.  But I still don’t particularly enjoy it.  Waiting to flop a monster so you can take money from idiots who will never, ever fold is not really my idea of fun.

When tournaments first went down and I started going through poker withdrawal, I played one table of .02/.04 cash.  At this point I was still laboring under the delusion that I could “play poker” and hope to win money from these idiots.  I was raising before the flop with less than huge hands, bluffing after the flop, basically doing all the things that make me so awesome at tournaments.  And these players were just calling me with their third pair that they flopped with nine-seven offsuit.

So on Friday I decided to double-table.  I figured that waiting for a big hand would be less frustrating and boring this way, and I was right.  I was more patient in waiting for big hands, but still got off to a rough start, thanks to a player named PINOACK.  On the hand that started our rivalry, he raised UTG to .14 and called when I made it .42 with QQ.  I bet the pot on a 754 rainbow flop and he went all in for a little more.  With 65o.  He hit his eight on the river to double up and I pointed out that he was terrible at this game in so many words.  A few hands later he won a big pot that I wasn’t involved in by limping with 53o, calling on the flop with an inside straight draw and runner-runnering trips.  At this point I was down to about half my buy-in at this table, but I was just waiting to hit a big hand because I knew PINOACK would pay me off.

I finally got my chance with pocket eights in middle position.  I raised to .12 and of course he called.  The 833 flop was almost too good to be true.  It checked around, but when an ace came on the turn, PINOACK was kind enough to bet the pot.  I just called as did another player.  When a blank came on the river, I just value bet, hoping he would raise me. He didn’t, but both he and the player called to give me a big win.  Our villain had called my preflop raise with 43o and the other guy had AQo.  This was enough to get me back even and I would end the night up about five bucks on my original eight dollar buy-in between the two tables.

Saturday I was back at it and the opposition was just as dumb.  I lost a lot early because against these players it was not good enough to hit a good flop.  You had to hit an unbeatable hand to have a shot.  Take, for example, the hand where I had 43 in the big blind and flopped 567.  Care to guess what I lost to?  Someone with 98?  Maybe someone with just an eight who caught a card?  Or maybe someone flopped a set and caught a full house?  No, when I bet the pot on the flop I got called by a player who had limped with 53o.  Another five on the turn and another seven on the river were enough to send a lot of my chips across the table to this idiot.

This is pretty representative of the level of play I’ve found at these .02/.04 tables.  There are players who simply won’t fold anything before the flop or let go of a hand if they hit any part of the board.  While in the long run, this is good, in the short run it makes playing these tables more trouble than it’s worth.  I don’t even feel like I’m playing good poker against these people.  I’m just limping with every pocket pair or suited ace trying to flop a monster.

I was not doing so hot at either of my two tables on Saturday and was about to call it a night when I found myself with solid hands on both tables.  I hadn’t had too much trouble keeping things straight while double-tabling, but this was one of the few times where I was involved in two simultaneous big hands.

One one table I limped with A8h and on the other I reraised with pocket tens.  I got a call with the tens and saw a 874 flop.  My opponent pushed all in and I called and saw his king-jack.  Before I had time to comment on whether or not he deserved any applause, I had flopped top pair on the other table.  Six of us saw an AQ5 flop and we all checked it.  KJ Guy didn’t get any help and he was soon on his bike.  Meanwhile, the turn on the other table had brought me an eight and a bet in front of me.  I raised with my two pair and got two calls.  The river was a king and one player bet half my stack, but I raised all in and he folded.

This left me up about two dollars after an hour and a half or so of play.  So I managed to fight my way through the moron hordes and escape with my bankroll intact, but I don’t think I’ll be making a habit of playing these tables.  I’d much rather sit down at a tournament table where I might run into at least one or two competent players.  Until I can afford to play at a level of cash game where the game being played actually resembles poker a little bit, I’ll stick to the SNGs and MTTs.

It might be true. See pokerlistings for info.

I’d have liked to see Rounders 2, where Mike struggles to beat the $1-$2 NLHE game against Sportsbook and PokerStars donks.